WELCOME TO Path Ways Counseling® in Plano, Texas
Pamela Smale Williams LPC, LMFT PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING services 30 YEARS IN PLANO & DALLAS Texas
Licensed Marital and Family Therapist, Licensed Professional Counselor

Clinical Member of The American Association of Marriage & Family Therapy, specialized in marital therapy
Therapy for ADULTS,  MARRIAGE, and Individual

Scroll down to see Pamela's BLOG of the Month AND her newest article "How Come I can't Meditate?" C.2008

Relaxation CD ORDER PAGE:

and something new!, Blog of the Month, below

Pamela's new CD recording "Moonstones and Magical Moods; Visualizations for Change"

Base price only $5.00; S/H $3.00 by phone order: 972-596-1338 MC/Visa accepted

Pamela's TEST "Is Anger a Problem?" is soon to be published!

(972) 596-1338  Appointments or Questions
3729 Marlborough Court    PLANO, Texas 75075 ( Close to The Medical Center of Plano )

 Therapist, Writer, Educator

also serving Frisco, Allen, McKinney Texas, Carrollton, The Colony, Murphy, Rockwall, Southlake, Highland Village, Richardson, and other surrounding cities.

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   Article "Reality Online Dating, Tips for Safe Surfing" by Pamela Smale Williams LPC, LMFT, AAMFT

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Article: WHY CAN'T I MEDITATE? by Pamela Smale Williams LPC LMFT, AAMFT (read below after Blog of the Month!)

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>>>BLOG of the Month<<<

On the subject of writing!
Working with couples as I do, I am on the lookout for professionally written, quality erotica (aka erotic fantasies in short story form) to pass along to clients that look for ways to enhance the intimate, personal side of their relationships. Since I work with sexual dysfunction, couples, and have a lecture in the works on "Enhancing Your Relationship with Tantra, Dreams, Fairy Tales and more", I hope to create a resource of well written, exciting, passion tales....ANY IDEAS? I MIGHT turn them into my first book. 

In the meantime, I have finished up recording a RELAXATION CD, also known as a VISUALIZATION to music. My March 2008 release did well for the opener 3-track trial, "MOONSTONES & MAGICAL MOODS: Visualizations for Change" produced by Jason of Aurus Productions here in Plano, Texas! (See above for ordering information)

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ARTICLE by Pamela Smale Williams LPC LMFT AAMFT! "HOW COME I CAN'T MEDITATE?" copyright July 2008 

Ask yourself the following questions:

Am I expecting a mystical, "Twilight Zone" sort of experience?

Don't. It isn't necessary to nor is it likely to be that type of journey. The best expectation is to allow your mind to be focused on a single thing, such as your breathing, your heart beat, or perhaps a single sound (chanting the word "ohm" for example is used widely in many forms of meditation originating in the Eastern religions). There are several good Sound Effects CD's that may also aid you in focusing ONLY on the ambient music...my recommendations are: Dan Gibson's "Solitudes" series...Two selections I prefer are "Ocean Surf", "Thunderstorm in the Wilderness"--both are  excellent choices are are well produced.  "Ocean Surf" is one I use in my office to help teach deep breathing also known as diaphragmatic breathing.

Each wave is an inhalation then an expiration and this CD helps get the tempo of how slowly the breaths need to be. Fast breathing or overbreathing can produce light-headedness or dizziness, so if this occurs, slow it down, maybe even lie down if you experience the beginnings of blacking out--you won't pass out if you are in a lying down posture since that allows your blood pressure and  blood flow to be distributed more evenly. I DO NOT recommend COUNTING for your breathing because this forces you to focus on the counting rather than allowing your mind to be free of thoughts--the ultimate goal of meditation.

What if my thoughts interrupt my meditation practice?

Normal for the beginner. That's the reason you are trying to learn to meditate in the first place! Learn to set the thoughts aside and just focus on your breathing. Worrying yourself to death will take away from the relaxation that is key here. If you have an anxiety disorder, this will be harder to

control at first but don't let that stop you, just PRACTICE putting the interruptions aside--you may even try visualizing "in your mind's eye" putting them in a bag or in a box and locking them up with a key that you give to someone else, but choose someone that you trust. You may not be able to make your mind blank, but you will get to the point where the thoughts can just flow past you and not allow yourself to judge these thoughts or dwell on them. Don't analyze them, know that they are merely thoughts and that you can allow them to come in and then leave you, replacing a neutral thought in their place if you wish...EX. "I know I have all these things to do today...and then going into the  laundry list of all that you have on your plate. Instead of taking that inventory of things-to-do, know that they will be there when you return from your meditative state and that you will be better able to focus on those things when it comes time to, merely by having done the meditation and allowing yourself the Self care that comes by allowing yourself to RELAX and LET GO in meditation and /or Visualization.

What is the best form of single focus for me?

Depends on your lifestyle. Use rhythm as your guide. Repetitive movements or thoughts can induce a trance-like state. Brushing your teeth for 3 minutes, focusing on a single spot of light until your eyelids become heavy, seeing an image in your mind that is pleasant ("Vacation of the Mind"), or even walking and focusing on your steps (only) can help. There is no rule that says you must sit in a Lotus position and appear to be the expert Yoga master! Whatever position is comfortable for you is the position YOU NEED to practice using. TIP: try not to cross your legs or arms. This can interfere with your blood flow and remember that we are aiming for smooth and full blood flow throughout your body.

How much must I practice?

Start slowly. Try only 3-5 minutes at first. Increase your time (up to 20-30 minutes if you wish) as you become more familiar with the state of relaxation. Notice the difference between relaxation and tension, especially in your muscles. Scan your body for any tense spots and direct your visualization there. Give your muscles permission to relax and undo the knots they may be in. Verbally, to yourself, speak to your anxiety or tension and ask it, as if it were an entity or being of its own, what does it need? You may not get an answer at first and that will be alright. Eventually it may come to you and then again it may never come to you, at least not on a conscious level. As long as you recognize where you are tense, you will be taking a giant step forward!

When will I know if I am meditating?

If you are able to allow thoughts to pass you by and you are in a state of relaxation, you are there. Your breathing should be slow and deep rather than fast and shallow. You may discover that you have tuned out everything else around you---which is why this is best not practiced while operating machinery!! Don't try to drive and do this!!

What are the benefits for me to even attempt this?

Relaxation, a break from your tension and/or anxiety, and clarity of your Mind's jumbled up "chatter". How many times a day could you say you have this feeling currently? If you ARE experiencing these feelings, you may already be meditating in a sort of way that works for you--don't discount that! Own it for what it is and recognize it as being successful and helpful.

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Pamela's approach to therapy is Cognitive therapy, short term Behavioral therapy, 

and an intelligent blend of Psychological orientations that are customized for each individual seen.